Simple "crop circle"
impressions had been a peculiar curiosity in the English
countryside for decades. They started to attract widespread
attention in 1990,
after they unexpectedly took on a manufactured appearance and
gargantuan sizes. Whirlwind theories were discarded, while
Earth, UFOs, fairies, angels and/or the CIA were proposed as
When a couple o' codgers admitted to hoaxing 'em in 1991,
all further media
coverage ceased. Yet "crop circle" activity continued to
accelerate, even after
one of the geezers died. Indeed, the bizarre designs grew more
each passing season, and began showing up in about a dozen other
Several thousand examples have occurred worldwide over the past
Genuine "crop circles" exhibit physical attributes
that simply can't be faked.
Magnetic field displacements are measured. Cameras and recording
will temporarily fail. Dead insects and small amounts of meteoric
dust are found
covering the leaves. And the stems of the affected plants are
over at right angles without breaking... even in rigid,
celery-like canola crops!
Microscopic observation and controlled germination
experiments, conducted by
biophysicist W.C. Levengood, has revealed damage to cell walls and
growth rates which indicate rapid heating by a burst of microwave
vegetation is "zapped" into a collapsed position by a
force of unknown origin!
(Deployed at night, without the slightest fear of being
interrupted... or shot!)
In the unlikely event that the British Army might actually
possess some sort of
top-secret ray gun, why would they risk an accident by using it to
decorate private property? The most obvious, if mind-boggling,
is that Intelligent Aliens, hiding behind our backs, have
begun holding annual
public demonstrations of their advanced capabilities! Hold
onto your hats!